My Christmas seasons since 2001 have really blown - 2002 had me battling with a 22 month old that got sick constantly (with undiagnosed Reflux disease) and we had just found out that my father may have had a horrible cancer (he did). 2003 was the year my father died 13 days before the big day. 2004 was spent in a new state, having only been in our new house for 6 weeks and a place that was very much not 'home'. 2005 my youngest had pneumonia right before the holiday turning everything into a mess, and 2006 was our first year in this new state and this time BOTH daughters had pneumonia, taking up about 17 days of December with illness. So this year I was making a huge effort to change that pattern and be ready for the bronchial illnesses, etc. I found it really hard to do, but I'm learning a lot and I'm doing it. I decided what was really important to me, and those went on my 'must do' list - and I did them first. I let a bunch of other things go that I 'usually' do and that I 'like' to do, but just didn't have the time. I love my New England Village houses to be up, but that's not going to happen this year. Michael's Christmas in the city (a lot more manageable because they are smaller in number and mush together on top of the piano) will have to do - and that's fine.
I set a deadline of yesterday to finish homemade gifts and I didn't make it - a knitting bag for my mother-in-law, a bowl for my aunt, a snowman for another aunt and some other sewn projects - so I'm going to my plan B purchased stuff, which was purchased earlier and with love, not just 'get it done' sentiments. This is huge for me - in years past I would stay up until all hours of the night finishing them regardless of the toll it took on me personally. That's why the blog went - my priorities were really focused on this being time to reflect on the meaning of the holiday and not the panic etc.
My cards are done and out (amazing for postally-challenged me), my packages that need to be sent are sent (another thing that is no small feat for me), I have my baking list. The shopping is done, the wrapping is done. This year Michael has been traveling so much that he has no idea who is getting what - he usually is more involved, or at least knows what the kids are getting - I told him he better pay attention on Christmas day so he at least has a clue. I feel a bit like Superwoman - I don't relish the part and I'm not always upbeat about this role I'm in, but I'm feeling good that I'm doing it and carrying through with it...
I'm going in a minute to New York to pick up my mom. This has been a big motivator for getting things done because the next four days will not only be non-productive for me personally, but they will go in reverse as it's another person to take care of. She's aged so much. She wants to bake but just can't remember the little things you have to do to bake, so her stuff has been coming out horribly, so we're making our 'tradition' of baking a bit longer and the kids know that we'll all help Grammy and make her feel that she's doing it herself. I'll take her back home on Tuesday night after Kendra's band concert - so the next four days will be tricky - she gets overwhelmed easily and her feelings get bruised easily as well lately - mentally it's exhausting for me, but I appreciate the fact that our time is limited and I'm trying to make the most of it. She's really getting ready for assisted living - she's not a danger to herself yet, but we're getting there...slowly her independence has been leaving her but it's happening slowly so she's not really realizing it - I take care of all her bills and her checkbook (we have power of attorney), my other sister takes the house stuff and gives Michael 'honeydo' lists, and the local sister who is a nurse has the medical stuff buttoned up. We're trying to keep her in her home of 56 years, but it's definitely work.
Anyway - I didn't follow the Holiday Grand Plan http://www.holidaygrandplan.com exactly, but I did about 60% of it and it helped soooo much - I'm motivated to increase my compliance next year and hope for an even more relaxing holiday....the one hour on handmade gifts a day would have been a big boon for me. :-)
I am filled with Christmas spirit and I just wanted to say (in my long-winded way) that I love my loop, I treasure them all, and my heart thinks of you all so much. Loopies that are struggling right now, you are foremost in my prayers and I really pray for peace and resolution for you in the upcoming year. This is such a tough time to be going through hard times - I definitely understand - when my dad passed and we buried him 8 days before Christmas....it just is so hard to see people merry and the whole thing looks like a farce. But it's not - it is now, this year - but it's not overall - keep that in your hearts.
With love, Christine
I set a deadline of yesterday to finish homemade gifts and I didn't make it - a knitting bag for my mother-in-law, a bowl for my aunt, a snowman for another aunt and some other sewn projects - so I'm going to my plan B purchased stuff, which was purchased earlier and with love, not just 'get it done' sentiments. This is huge for me - in years past I would stay up until all hours of the night finishing them regardless of the toll it took on me personally. That's why the blog went - my priorities were really focused on this being time to reflect on the meaning of the holiday and not the panic etc.
My cards are done and out (amazing for postally-challenged me), my packages that need to be sent are sent (another thing that is no small feat for me), I have my baking list. The shopping is done, the wrapping is done. This year Michael has been traveling so much that he has no idea who is getting what - he usually is more involved, or at least knows what the kids are getting - I told him he better pay attention on Christmas day so he at least has a clue. I feel a bit like Superwoman - I don't relish the part and I'm not always upbeat about this role I'm in, but I'm feeling good that I'm doing it and carrying through with it...
I'm going in a minute to New York to pick up my mom. This has been a big motivator for getting things done because the next four days will not only be non-productive for me personally, but they will go in reverse as it's another person to take care of. She's aged so much. She wants to bake but just can't remember the little things you have to do to bake, so her stuff has been coming out horribly, so we're making our 'tradition' of baking a bit longer and the kids know that we'll all help Grammy and make her feel that she's doing it herself. I'll take her back home on Tuesday night after Kendra's band concert - so the next four days will be tricky - she gets overwhelmed easily and her feelings get bruised easily as well lately - mentally it's exhausting for me, but I appreciate the fact that our time is limited and I'm trying to make the most of it. She's really getting ready for assisted living - she's not a danger to herself yet, but we're getting there...slowly her independence has been leaving her but it's happening slowly so she's not really realizing it - I take care of all her bills and her checkbook (we have power of attorney), my other sister takes the house stuff and gives Michael 'honeydo' lists, and the local sister who is a nurse has the medical stuff buttoned up. We're trying to keep her in her home of 56 years, but it's definitely work.
Anyway - I didn't follow the Holiday Grand Plan http://www.holidaygrandplan.com exactly, but I did about 60% of it and it helped soooo much - I'm motivated to increase my compliance next year and hope for an even more relaxing holiday....the one hour on handmade gifts a day would have been a big boon for me. :-)
I am filled with Christmas spirit and I just wanted to say (in my long-winded way) that I love my loop, I treasure them all, and my heart thinks of you all so much. Loopies that are struggling right now, you are foremost in my prayers and I really pray for peace and resolution for you in the upcoming year. This is such a tough time to be going through hard times - I definitely understand - when my dad passed and we buried him 8 days before Christmas....it just is so hard to see people merry and the whole thing looks like a farce. But it's not - it is now, this year - but it's not overall - keep that in your hearts.
With love, Christine
5 comments:
Christine,
So good to hear from you on your blog and read about your life. You are so loved and I pray that we will meet one day! My heart goes out to you on your mother. I know you treasure your time with her but also the difficulty of dealing with the reality of a parent who is ailing. {{{Christine}}} I love you so much, my friend. You make such a difference in my life. Way to go on getting so much done. I pray for good health and good things for your family.
What a lovely post, Christine. I echo your sentiments to the loop in your last paragraph. Thank goodness we all have each other, through good times and rough spots. I hope this holiday season turns your trend around and that it's a beautiful time for your family. Love you!
Glad to see you are posting again! Life is never dull, is it? I hope you and your family have a truly enjoyable Christmas. You've come through some very difficult times, and have done it with grace and love. You are a really special person...I'm not one to get all mushy, but I am so glad we are friends! Love ya :-)
{{{{Christine}}}} I know we all love you so much, too! You are a very important part of my life. I can't imagine life without my loopies now.
I hope this holiday proves to be better than the past few. You've certainly faced your share of challenges. You are a strong, amazing, wonderful woman and if anyone can emerge with their shoulders held high, it's you.
Love you girlfriend!
{{{{Christine}}}} I know we all love you so much, too! You are a very important part of my life. I can't imagine life without my loopies now.
I hope this holiday proves to be better than the past few. You've certainly faced your share of challenges. You are a strong, amazing, wonderful woman and if anyone can emerge with their shoulders held high, it's you.
Love you girlfriend!
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